Tips for helping students to survive in the first weeks of a new school year

For some teens, the adjustment into middle school or high school can be a scary time. Even entering a new school can bring clouds of worry.  But, with a little planning and preparation, adjusting to the new school year can be more of an exciting adventure rather than a worrisome experience.

Many new middle school students feel anxious. And, students adjusting to the advancement into high school will feel worried too. In my 24 years of working with teens within schools, there are a few tips I have found that help them soar with greater confidence through the first days of school.

Tips for students to survive the adjustment:

• Students involved in extracurricular activities more easily adjust to new school changes. Students who are involved in band, sports or other extracurricular activities are often required to attend summer practice events.This helps students to ignite new friendships, feel energized, and get into their school groove before the first day of school. Also, by the time school starts, they will know the layout of their school really well. This makes the first day of school less stressful.For students who are new to high school or middle school, or even students who are changing schools, even if they can not get involved in activities during the summer, getting involved in any school activity can be a social life saver. When teens are involved in shared activities, new friendships form and healthy habits tend to stick.
• Students who attend “fish camp” or “new student” activities feel less anxiety. Students who tour their new school, get a copy of their new class schedule, meet their teachers and plan their class-to-class travel routines feel better prepared. When students feel a sense of control over their new school year, sleeping is easier and moods are better on the day of the first bell. Parents usually feel better too.
• Students who make easy decisions before the first day, feel less stress. Have your student plan his/her outfit, prepare lunch, prepare the details like before and after school transportation early. For example, if your student will buy his/her/their lunch, go ahead and put money in their lunch account. If it’s going to be homemade lunches, let your student help with healthy-yet-exciting lunches. Finding a place to sit on the first day of school during lunch can be the scariest thing for students, but if their lunch is packed with foods they are excited about, it’s one less worry. The longer cafeteria lunch lines on their first days of school may also be a bit overwhelming at first.
• Plan for tired days. Do not cram the first few weeks of school full of activity. Plan for down time. It will take time for a new routine to feel almost normal. This may mean your student comes home, rests for an hour, starts homework and goes to bed early.

This is a time of heightened anxiety. Many students report these first day questions:

• Will I find my friends?
• Will I be able to find my classes?
• Will my teachers be nice?
• Will there be too much homework?
• What about dressing out for PE?
• How do I figure out how to use my locker combination?
• Will I have enough time to get to each class?
• What if I miss my bus?
• What is the school food like?
• Where do I sit at lunch?
• Where do I fit in?

Here are the answers to some of those common questions:

Will I find my friends?  Yes. Just like the previous school years, students will have some new friends, and students will still see some of their old friends. Some things may change with new teachers, but some things will stay the same.

Will I be able to find my classes? The secret here is that each year, in an average middle school or high school, there are 300-500 new students each year. In the first week or two, there will be 300-500 lost students in the hallways. Your student may feel like he/she is the only lost student, but in fact there are many students feeling the same way. This is why there is usually extra grace for new students finding their way. And, there will be more teachers helping in the halls. If students are a tiny bit late to a class, teachers know and will give them grace.

Will my teachers be nice? Most teachers will be nice. A secret is that teachers also get nervous on the first days of school too. Truthfully, by the time the students arrive, the teachers have already been at the school preparing for one to two weeks. They too want the first days of school to be the very best.

Will there be too much homework? This is a great time for students to begin to organize and budget their time. Planners help students to write down their homework assignments each day. It also helps for students to place their big deadlines on calendars so they can plan ahead. Also, after school tutorials with teachers (even for ten minutes) can save the day. When students stay and ask questions before they feel lost, they don’t feel like the homework is piling up. Also, it’s a great way for students to get to know their teachers.

What about dressing out for PE? Yes, most students have to dress out for PE. But, your student will survive.

How do I figure out how to use my locker combination? This takes practice, but if a student gets stuck, often, there is a teacher, coach or administrator who will be happy to help. A trick that helps students feel more confident is when they can buy their own locks and practice before school. While they may not be able to use the same lock at school, practicing helps. And, students may only need locker combination help during PE as many schools no longer have lockers in the hallways.

Will I have enough time to get to each class? Yes. Most students have 5-7 minutes between classes. Sometimes, this will take some planning. Obviously, students will not have a lot of time to visit between classes. Remember, there is some grace in the first few weeks.

What if I miss my bus? This is rare since there are usually helpers everywhere in the first few days. But, if students miss their bus, usually the school office is still open for a bit after school and students can go inside and contact parents or reach out for help.

What is the school food like? Sometimes schools have a variety of choices. Sometimes it’s just one choice or two each day. It might be best to bring lunch in the first week while a student can investigate. This is a great conversation starter for new students.

Where do I sit at lunch? Usually, by midday, students have found friends and compared schedules. Some schools divide lunches into grade levels, and some schools mix the grades if needed. But, most students will find friends in their lunches easily.  With the schedules, there are core classes everyone has to take. And, this usually assures that many students are together during lunch or during specific classes, for example athletics or specific elective courses.

Where do I fit in? This will take time. The easiest way to feel better at a new school is to find an activity. When students get involved at school clubs, sports, etc, they find their voice and friendships build naturally from there.

Change is tough. Changing from elementary to middle school is a big change. And, growing from middle school to high school is a major milestone.

Usually, it takes students about three months to feel like they’ve found their stride. Friendships build and routines take shape, and change settles in. There may be tears. There may be laughter. But, mostly there will be unique memories -memories like the smell of the school cafeteria -that are not soon forgotten.

Reagan O’Hare, MA, MEd, LPC

Reagan is a Licensed Professional Counselor for Three Oaks Counseling Group. She sees clients at our San Antonio location.